Family "Tied"

I haven't been to any outings lately.
Don't get me wrong, I've been invited for some, but either it crashes with my original schedule or I'm just too damn lazy.
So now, the people I get to see during the hols are just my family.
And no, I'm not talking about my immediate family, because that'd be just sad, because my "immediate family" only consists of my mom and dad =_=
Well, anyways. There was this annual family gathering on my father's side. Again. (Note the word "annual". Great, now I'm just being repetitive. I'm such a bore, aren't I?)
It was my dad's turn to organize this year's gathering, and we held it at Lanson Place in KL.
It's by far the nicest place we've stayed so far, compared to the previous family gatherings. And believe me, there were plenty.
To be exact, 2011 is the 20th year we've had the family gathering. And by "we" I mean my dad's family, because (obviously) I wasn't yet born 20 years ago. (Like, duhh?)

So this is what the lobby of Lanson Place looks like. It's pretty great, isn't it?
It's labeled a "service apartment", but it can definitely pass as a hotel.
And the rates are cheap too!
For the studio apartment with a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room and everything, it only costs RM 230 for a night!
And there's Astro, a gigantic stereo system, a video player and an awesome view of the Petronas Twin Towers (or as my dear cousin Zhong Zhen calls it: There.. Look for the two jagung sticking up from the ground -,-).
My dad didn't plan much for this year's gathering. It was all "free and easy", meaning there were no plans or events at all o.o
On the first night, more than ten of us cousins went to KLCC to watch Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.
The stunts were pretty cool, but I didn't feel that the storyline was particularly interesting. Just the typical "save the world from nuclear bombs" kinda thing.
And yeah, I still get creeped out by Tom Cruise's face. I know that's like, superbly weird.
But I just am. o.o It looks too unnatural, but that's just me. :P
By the time we got back to Lanson Place, it was already past 1 a.m. But hey, I wouldn't worry, our record was 5 a.m. xD

Yours with a cherry on top,
Qi Cheng.

Eat My Thoughts

Hello, sad and lonely world which is at the same time so full of life.
Unfortunately, I don't think I'm slipping into a coma, so I guess I'm being emotionless again.
I know I haven't updated my blog for quite some time, but that's just me, I guess.
I suppose there is plenty to talk about, and I'll get on to that later.
For now, I'm just gonna write down how I feel. Well, a blog is still a form of a diary, so I guess this counts as... therapy?
So yeah, Christmas is almost coming, and I SHOULD feel happy. It's probably my favourite holiday of the entire year.
But this Christmas.. I can't help but think.. Why am I not happy?
Maybe I'm just too afraid. Too afraid to talk to that one person.
Constantly running away, in order to escape a painful rejection, knowing that maybe how I perceived that person was just.. a dream. A form of imagination. A listless wish.
Forever on my Christmas list, but so, so out of reach.
And whenever I muster up the courage, I ask myself: Is it worth it? What kind of reaction would I get? What if it causes more pain? More pain than I could ever bear, knowing that I thought I had something special.
And what if that "special something" was just another figment of my imagination, however real it may have seemed?
A few weeks ago, these thoughts didn't even bother to surface. I was perfectly happy, thinking "this was it".
And then I made the decision to come clean, tell the truth. And all I get so far is coldness.
I don't want to make assumptions. But for once, couldn't you try talking to me? Instead of me constantly trying to talk to you. Crying silengly, but you would never know.
Everything you do, everything you say, I actually notice to the point it's almost as if I can never get to you. Instead I'm just hanging off the cliff, hanging on to you, waiting for you to pull me up and save me.
But you don't.
Wow. This IS therapy.
So OK. I have decided.
I'm gonna go talk to you. And if I get a response, it's a good thing right?
And if I don't? Maybe someone's kooky way of trying to tell me that it's not time yet.

Yours with a cherry on top,
Qi Cheng.