The End

You know, I always wanted the end of the school year to come...

But unlike most people, it's not because of the end-of-year school holidays. Not really.

I wanted to know how it would feel when the end actually did come.

Would I feel happy? Relieved? Excited?

Or sad? Moody? Terrified?

Well, I know now.

I'm moodless. Literally. Nothing at all. Deflated.

Seriously, I've never felt so emotionless before, even when we graduated from primary school, leaving everything behind.

That had almost felt like a relief, to get everything off my shoulders.

But now...*sigh*

I hadn't thought about all of this when the last bell rang yesterday.

And I didn't do it on the car ride home.

But when I was trying to sleep last night. It hit me. A gigantic blow.

It was over.

1A1 as a unit was...gone.

We would meet next year...

But never as before.

Maybe some of you wonder: What is there to miss? It's just another phase in life.

And it is. I agree with you.

But then again, maybe my attachment to 1A1 is more needy.

I transferred into this school in March.

Back then, 1A1 was all i did have.

Next year, I'll probably be thinking about how messed up I was this year.

Yeah, a lot of you know my mistakes.

Stupid, stupid mistakes.

If I could go back in time and change everything, would I?

Probably not.

Everything seems worth everything I've done. Good or bad.

Taking it as lessons of life works for me. So I've got no
complains.

Sure. I've changed a lot. But what does that matter when I've
been myself all along?

Maybe you just didn't open up your eyes wide enough to see that I am worth it.

So, I'm still gonna be here.

Waiting for the end.

To start all over again.

"The hardest part of ending is starting again..."